The relationship you develop with a therapist is unlike the other relationships in your life in that your therapist is not looking to gain anything through talking with you—in fact, it’s unethical to do so! Your family members, friends, co-workers, and often even clergy want something out of the relationship with you, so they are not able to listen completely, objectively, from the point of view of what is best for you.

Therapists also offer complete confidentiality and acceptance, which allows you to talk about things that are deeply personal, embarrassing, or taboo without fear of judgment or retaliation.

Self-help books, blogs, and podcasts are very useful sources of information and are great tools in working through some of the obstacles in your life. However, sometimes you need more than a tool. You need someone to help you see what you are missing, apply what the books are saying, encourage you to do hard things, listen deeply to your experience, note your progress, comfort you when you’re in pain, supply a new idea when you’re stuck, and just be with you in your process. All of us have a deep desire to “feel felt,” to feel like someone really gets us, and often it is a transformative experience. A skilled therapist will do this for you, and you can’t get this experience solely from information sources.

The single most important factor in whether therapy is successful in helping you make the changes you want to make is the strength of the relationship you have with the therapist, even more important than the particular treatment method used. It is essential that you can develop trust with your therapist and feel comfortable being vulnerable with them. This kind of trust is built over time and requires that your therapist demonstrate trustworthiness by how they listen, collaborate with you, respond to your emotions, repair any relational breaches, and demonstrate that they care about you.

When you are choosing a therapist, it is important that you feel like it is a good “fit,” and it is perfectly acceptable to shop around until you find one that has a good vibe. If you meet with me and decide I’m not a good fit for you, I would be happy to help you find another therapist who is.

Therapy and spiritual direction share some commonalities, most notably deep listening, but they each have a unique focus. In therapy, the focus is on healing emotional and relational pain and healthy development of the self, whereas in spiritual direction the focus is on supporting and developing one’s relationship with God and paying attention to the movements of the Spirit. I have some training in spiritual direction and can incorporate faith into the work we do together, but my approach remains primarily therapeutic.

I do not prescribe medication. Your primary care provider can often prescribe medication to address anxiety or depression. If you have a more complicated situation, you may benefit from making an appointment with a psychiatrist or nurse practitioner who specializes in medications that support mental health.

Therapists are required to assign either (or both) a mental health diagnosis or a “clinical focus” (reason for pursing therapy) for every person seeking therapy. If you are attempting to use your medical insurance to pay for therapy, you must be diagnosed with a mental health disorder (like anxiety or depression), or your insurance company will not pay for therapy. If you are not using medical insurance, you are not required to have a medical diagnosis and a clinical focus will suffice. Either way, therapists are ethically required to tell you what diagnoses, if any, they have assigned.

Peaceful. My office has a big window that looks out on a woods, and the space has a calm, soothing feel. I share an office suite with two other therapists who also share a sense of calm welcome. There’s a spacious waiting room, a water cooler with both hot and cold, and the makings for tea and cocoa.

Yes. Spiritual health is closely related to emotional and relational health, whether or not you identify with any particular religion or ideology.

Long before psychotherapy existed, communities would turn to the wise among them, often a spiritual leader, for help in finding the “good way” and walking in it. These elders drew on the wisdom of their traditions to help their communities live meaningful lives. Spirituality is about exactly this—identifying core values and beliefs that guide our life choices, our relationships, and our sense of connection with something greater than ourselves. 

As your therapist, I will guide you in identifying your own values and living in alignment with them when doing so will increase your emotional and relational health. If you prefer not to discuss your religious or spiritual beliefs, you simply can express this, and I will respect your wishes.

I strive to be. This topic matters to me. As a white, cis-gender therapist, I know the onus is on me to be aware of the dynamics of white supremacy, patriarchy, and all other oppressive aspects of dominant culture and how they intersect the lives of my clients. In order to do this, I have taken steps to develop self-awareness of my own complicit participation in systems of oppression and to develop more skillful ways of calling attention to and not participating in these systems. It is ongoing work, and always will be.

I value difference, am not afraid to admit I don’t know something, and am open to learning from you about your experience of your cultural identity. I am on the lookout for how issues of race, power, and privilege intersect what we are talking about in therapy and will bring them up when I see them. That includes talking about what it is like to work with me, if your cultural identity is different than mine.

I fully affirm all expressions of sexual orientation and gender identity and welcome people with these identities as clients.

Letters behind a counselor’s name let you know that they have a masters degree (MA for a Master of Arts and MS for a Master of Science) and what type of licensure they hold. In my case, I have a Master of Science degree and am licensed in Minnesota as a Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). LMFT’s focus on relationships and systems. We have been trained to view people as influencing and being influenced by the many relational systems they occupy—family, community, religious, political, racial, regional, etc. Although I primarily see individuals, I use the lens of relationality to understand all the relationships and systems that affect you.

I don’t take insurance. I am an “out of network provider” for all insurance companies. If you would like to submit a claim to your insurance company for possible reimbursement or the application of the fee to your deductible, I can provide you with a “super bill” (itemized medical receipt). Typically, insurance companies have a form on their website for this purpose, and it is a rather straightforward process.

If you would like to know if your insurance company will reimburse you for part of the fee, you can call the customer service number on the back of your insurance card and ask if your policy will cover “mental health services with an out of network provider.”

You may wonder why I don’t take insurance. I care deeply about everyone having access to mental health care, but I am not willing to make the compromises in care that result when insurance companies are involved. I talk more about this here.

A sliding fee scale based upon income is available on request for those who would find paying the full fee a financial hardship.

I use a billing program called Square Up to send email invoices that can be paid with credit, debit, or HSA cards. I also accept cash or check if those are preferable.

50 minutes

When you begin therapy, it is important to come frequently enough to form a bond with your therapist and to gain some momentum on the issue you are addressing. Typically, once a week or once every other week works well. As therapy progresses and you develop new skills and understandings that better support you, you will not need to come as often, perhaps once a month.

This question is very difficult to answer, because it is so different for each person. If you are seeking help for a concrete problem, you may feel satisfied with your progress after l0 sessions or less. If you are wanting to dig below the surface, get at root causes, unlearn old patterns and learn new ones, that can take a longer time. It helps to go into counseling without having a predetermined amount of time in your head for how long it is going to take and a willingness to engage in the process and see where it takes you.

Both. For video sessions, I use a HIPAA secure platform called Doxy.me that is designed specifically for medical professionals.

I ask for 24 hours’ notice if you are not going to be able to make your session. Life happens, and there will be times when you have to cancel with less than 24 hours’ notice due to reasons beyond your control: illness, weather, car problems, childcare issues and the like. In that case, there will be no late fee. However, if you cancel without 24 hours’ notice for other reasons, the full session fee will be due.